Please, please make these brownies, if you like brownies at all. You totally deserve them.

1 1/3 cup flour (I used white whole wheat)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup cinnamon apple sauce (or use plain applesauce and add cinnamon)
1/4 cup soy milk
1/3 cup canola oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
2/3 cup chocolate chips plus extra to sprinkle on top

Preheat oven to 350F. Prep an 8×8 pan — I prefer not to grease my baked goods, so I just put a sheet of aluminum foil in the pan.

Combine dry ingredients (flour through salt). Add wet ingredients (maple syrup through vanilla) and stir until well-mixed. Add walnuts and chips. Bake for 30-35 minutes — mine actually took 38 minutes, but I am pretty sure my oven doesn’t get as hot as it says it does, so keep watch. When you can stick a fork or toothpick in and it comes out clean, they are done. TRY to let them cool before you eat them, but if you can’t wait, it’s perfectly understandable.

Creamy Mushroom Kale Soup

Put ¾ cup cashews and ½ cup walnuts in a bowl of water while you start your soup, so they’ll be ready for you when you’re ready for them.

4 tbsp soy margarine
1 large onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced (I used BIG cloves)
1-2lbs mushrooms, sliced or coarsely chopped (I used cremini, shiitake are more expensive but if you’ve got ‘em, use ‘em!)
4 cups veg broth
1 head kale, chopped (I used red kale)
½ cup parsley, chopped (that’s how much I happened to have in the fridge, use whatever amount you like)
¼ cup red wine vinegar
¼ cup nutritional yeast
Herbs – see below

Melt soy margarine in your favorite soup pot. Saute the onions first, then add the garlic, and then the mushrooms. Cook until the mushrooms have lost their moisture, stirring frequently so the garlic does not burn. You can check by tasting to see if the mushrooms have reached a texture that you would like to put in your mouth. If they’re still kinda slimy, keep cooking!

When you’re pretty sure your mushrooms are just about done, drain your nuts and then put them in the blender with a fresh cup of water. This will make your cream. Don’t ditch your blender yet, though…you’ll need it in a few minutes!

Add the cream to the pot, along with your veg broth. Now it’s herb time, are you ready? Here’s the herb blend I used (approximately):

1 tbsp tarragon
2 tsp thyme
2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp marjoram
1 tsp mustard powder
1 tsp sage
1 tsp black pepper
½ tsp chipotle pepper

Obviously, don’t add the pepper if you don’t like your soup spicy!

Now it’s back to the blender. If you want chunks of mushroom in your soup (I do!), put about ½ to ⅔ of the soup in the blender. If you do not want chunks of mushroom in your soup, put all of it in. Blend until smooth, then pour it back into the pot.

Put the pot back on the burner and put the heat on medium-low. Add the kale. If you like the chewy stems in your soup, put them in. If not, just use the leaves. If you’re using red kale, your soup will start to turn pink now! Yay! Add the parsley and stir well so all the leaves are well-mixed into the soup and can cook in nicely. Add red wine vinegar and nutritional yeast.

Serve with a nice crusty bread or focaccia.

I melted 2 tablespoons of Earth Balance soy butter in a large pot. I chopped up a large onion, a bunch of scallions, and a lot of garlic (maybe 8-10 cloves?), and sauteed them in the butter, adding them in one at a time in the order listed for optimal cooking times. I chopped two medium-sized potatoes into bite-sized chunks and added them to the pot. I added a cup of urad lentils (also called beluga lentils), a cup of black quinoa, 6 cups of veg broth, about half a can of coconut milk, and a tablespoon each of sage and cumin.. I brought the soup to a boil, then covered it and let it simmer for 30 minutes. I then added about 3/4 cup nutritional yeast, the juice from 2 lemons (maybe about 1/4 cup), and some Bragg’s and some liquid smoke to taste.

It cheered me up a lot. The earthy flavors of the potatoes, lentils, and quinoa worked really well together.

So I made some!

I put 2 cups water, 3/4 cup almonds, and the teeniest tiniest pinch of salt in the blender, essentially making almond milk. I added 2/3 cup sugar and a teaspoon of cinnamon, then ran the blender again for a while, till the whole thing was nice and frothy. Then I poured it into a sealable plastic container and put it in the freezer. After a couple hours, I took it out and stirred it up, mixing the frozen parts back into the liquid part, then put it back in the freezer. I repeated this every few hours. I would say it spent about 8 hours in the freezer before I was like, okay! now this is really ice cream!

IT IS SO GOOD OH MY GOD I MAY FALL OVER FROM HOW GOOD IT IS.

You can experiment with different flavors, add fruits (or veggies??), try different liquids in place of or in addition to the water…I know I will!

Scallion Focaccia
Chop a bunch of scallions into small rounds. Set them within easy reach.

In a large bowl, put 2 1/4 tsp active dry yeast (1 packet) and 1 1/4 cups warm water. Be sure your water is not warmer than 115°F (46°C) as this will kill the yeast. Add 3 tablespoons olive oil, any herbs or seasonings you like (I used 1 teaspoon garlic powder and 1/2 teaspoon each of onion powder and black pepper), 1 teaspoon salt, and the chopped scallions. Add your flour — I used about 3 1/2 cups, you want your dough to be a little sticky but not too sticky, so if it feels more like paste than dough, add more flour. Sing a song or two while you knead it. Roll your ball of dough in some more olive oil to coat it — you can do this by drizzling some olive oil directly into the bowl and just rolling it around. Cover the bowl with a towel and let it sit for an hour. Go watch Star Trek, take a shower, practice the guitar, crochet an octopus, whatever you want to do for an hour. It’s not a big deal if it sits a little longer than that.

When your hour is up, come back and give your dough a little poke in the side. Watch the dent fill itself back up. Marvel and/or giggle at how mindbogglingly neat yeast is. Then give it a few good punches. Don’t worry, it likes it when you do that.

Your hands are about to get sticky again, so you might want to get the rest of your stuff ready now. Get out a large baking tray and grease it lightly by rubbing a paper towel in soy butter (I use Earth Balance) or olive oil, then rubbing that all over the tray. Get out a fork too, because you’ll need that to poke your bread in a minute. Now go back and knead your dough a little more, then plop it down on the baking tray and roll it flat with a rolling pin. Spread it out as much as you can, because it will rise in the oven. In fact, it’s going to rise a little more right now, so grab your fork, poke it into your bread a bunch of times, cover the bread with a towel again, and let it hang out for another 15-20 minutes.

While it’s hangin’, preheat your oven to 350°F/176°C. When the oven is preheated and the dough is done hangin’, bake it for a little over half an hour (35 minutes was perfect for mine).

TRY to let it cool before ripping into it. I dare you!
I had a friend over when I made it, and we definitely could not wait.

I adapted this recipe from the Rosemary Focaccia recipe in Veganomicon, which was also delicious, but came out much more like a loaf of bread instead of a focaccia.

I got my first guitar when I was 9. I’d learned a few chords on my dad’s guitar and I wanted my own. In all my life, I don’t think I have ever wanted anything as much as I wanted that guitar. I knew I was going to get it for my birthday, which probably made me even more excited to get it than if it had been a surprise. I remember running all around the house, screaming I GOT MY GUITAR I GOT MY GUITAR I GOT MY GUITAR at the top of my lungs.

I spent hours with an instructional video, learning the first few simple chords. I took lessons for a few years, eventually quitting the piano in order to focus solely on the guitar (a decision which I now regret, but I’m not beating myself up about it). Sometimes I practiced seriously. Mostly I just played because I loved it. My ear and my intuitive sense of rhythm got very well trained. My musicianship, as far as learning good technique and advancing in skill, did not. I didn’t really “get it” about the importance of practicing, and as an obsessive perfectionist of a kid, I did not have the patience for sitting around and “messing up” over and over again.

But everyone who knew me knew I was a musician. Other kids teased me about it, and I got mad because I was a hot-headed little kid, but it didn’t really bother me that much because I was so passionately committed to what I was doing. I spent hours every day in my room, singing and playing the guitar, knowing that someday I would be AMAZING and everyone who made fun of me would wish they’d been a lot nicer to me back before I got famous.

And then my teenage years hit. I didn’t have the good practice habits that I would have needed to continue improving, and I didn’t have access to practice space or lessons for a few years when I needed to live away from my parents. I’ve spent a long time being upset about this, and you know what? I’m done with that! I’m releasing it, I’m letting it go, and I’m picking up the guitar again.

Not playing the guitar all the time actually led to something really great: it made me reliant on singing as my musical outlet. Singing is something I can do anytime, anywhere, and it comes a lot more naturally to me than playing an instrument that lives outside of my body. And when I spent several years living with a disability in my arms that made it impossible to play the guitar at all, it was definitely a good thing that my identity as a musician was tied to singing at that point.

I began taking hormones during that time, which caused my voice to change. So when I picked up the guitar again, after surgery and recovery and yoga and painkillers reversed the nerve damage in my chest that took my arms out of commission, not only was I way out of practice, but it was a whole different voice singing along with the guitar, and it didn’t fit like I was used to. I couldn’t face that. I needed to be on the hormones, for a number of complex medical reasons, and even if I stopped taking them, my voice wasn’t going to change. So I avoided the guitar, sang my heart out, and figured I would try again someday when I was “ready”.

Well, I’m ready. Or maybe not, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I have to make music. I have to do everything I can to be a musician and make music. The specific things that I need to do are becoming clearer and clearer to me every day, but right now, the one that I can put into play immediately is practicing the guitar. I can’t afford lessons right now, but I have my old practice book and that will keep me going for a good while. The important thing is that I do this, that I commit to it, and that the people I love know that I am getting my ass back on the right path. I make music for me because I love it, but really, what keeps this thing alive is that I make music for YOU, because I love it.

What can you do to support me?
Ask me how it’s going.
Leave me supportive comments.
Tell me about your experiences practicing music.
If you have guitar practice books that you’re not using and would like to donate, please let me know! (Please don’t just send them without checking — I don’t want to get inundated with books that are below the level I need to be practicing at.)
If you want to symbolically join me in my practice, send me GUITAR PICKS! I’ll give you my address if you send me a message letting me know you’d like to do that!
Also, I’d really like a capo, but check with me about that first too so I don’t get 50 of them.
If you would like a Tarot reading or Reiki session (see the tabs above), please let me know — the money I make doing those things will help me save up for real lessons!
Go make some music of your own (or whatever art you do), and share it with me to inspire me to make more too!

1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. Put 2 cups of pecans on a baking tray.
3. Insert baking tray in oven. Set timer for 12 minutes.
4. Vacuum apartment. You have 12 minutes! GO!
5. Remove snack from oven.

Meditation can be a lot harder, and a lot more complicated, than it seems. I think it is common for people to experience frustration when we try to meditate, thinking there is a “right” or “wrong” way to do it. Can’t get your mind quiet enough? Can’t sit still without stretching your leg or scratching your butt? Forgot how many times you were supposed to count your breath? I know I’m not likely to keep trying to do something if I feel like I’m always doing it wrong.

So I took a different approach to meditation. I started practicing by just setting a timer for 10 minutes and sitting quietly for those 10 minutes. Whatever my mind chose to do with that time would be perfectly okay. Sometimes I would visualize healing energy running through my body. Sometimes I would sing myself songs in my head. Sometimes I would fall asleep. Sometimes I would count, or focus on my breath. Those 10 minutes were ALL MINE. I could do WHATEVER I WANTED.

As my recovery progressed, I discovered something really interesting. I could do this anywhere, anytime! If I were out in public, I could slip into a bathroom or in my car, and set my timer for 10 minutes. If I were doing something unpleasant and needed a break, I could take 10 minutes and go meditate. If I had 15 minutes of downtime with nothing to do, I could set my timer and meditate. Anytime, anyplace, I could find a way to get 10 minutes to myself and meditate! And nobody ever had to know what I was doing!

Is this something that would be useful for you? Do you have a meditation practice that you use? What have you found challenging or frustrating about meditation? What do you most enjoy about practicing meditation?

Okay, maybe not. But I decided to create a chickpea noodle soup using only foods I actually like, because I am a firm believer in Only Putting Foods That I Like In My Food.

If you are cooking along at home, I encourage you as well to only put food that you like in your food! If you see a recipe that includes an ingredient you do not like, use an ingredient that you do like, instead! It will probably turn out just fine. (NOTE: this does NOT apply to baking.)

This recipe is kinda-sorta-vaguely based on the recipe with the same name, from the cookbook Veganomicon…but, really only because it includes chickpeas and noodles. That recipe is also probably great…if you like mooshy squooshy carrots and celery in your food (which apparently most people do, go figure).

Chickpea Noodle Soup, choirqueer-style
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, diced
2 heads broccoli, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup chopped cilantro (leave it out or use parsley if you hate cilantro)
1 jalapeño, minced (leave it out if you hate heat)
1/4 tsp cayenne (ixnay this too if you hate heat)
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried rosemary
up to 1 tsp black pepper
6-7 cups vegetable broth (dilute with water if it’s too salty)
up to 1/4 cup lemon juice (if you wish)
1/4 cup miso (I used red, and I actually used more like 1/3 cup, but that was definitely too much)
2 cups presoaked chickpeas (or 1 can)
spaghetti noodles
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
Bragg’s liquid aminos or soy sauce to taste

In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Saute the onions and broccoli for about 5 minutes, then add and stir the garlic, jalapeño, cilantro, and spices. Give it about 2 minutes, then add the broth, lemon juice, miso, and chickpeas. Turn the heat to high until it’s boiling, then turn it all the way down so it will simmer. Break the noodles in thirds and add them to the pot. Put a lid on the pot and let it simmer for 10-15 minutes. Stir in the nutritional yeast. Add liquid aminos or soy sauce if it needs more saltiness, or add water if it’s too salty.