Vegan Fried Cheese

I just had this wild flash of inspiration and it turned into FRIED CHEESE.

I’ve been vegan for almost 9 years and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve cooked with “fake cheese” since then, so I have no idea what to do with this discovery. Here, let me tell you what I did, and maybe you can try it, or help me think of what can be done with this, because I’m totally stumped.

I put all these ingredients into a mixing bowl:

1 cup soy yogurt
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon miso (I used red miso)
about 2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons tahini
onion and garlic powder and black pepper (as you like)
dash of salt
dash of turmeric

Using a fork, I whipped them up into a nice goop.

I don’t know what exactly I was thinking I was going to do when I started mixing, but as I looked at the bowl of goop sitting before me, I thought, what can I do with this? And then it hit me…I CAN FRY IT!

I put enough olive oil in my frying pan to cover the bottom of the pan and then some. I heated it up. I tested out a tablespoonful in the oil. SIZZLESIZZLESIZZLESPLATTER. I plopped another tablespoon on top of that. I gave it a flip with my spatula. It didn’t exactly flip, since it was goop, but it…gloopled. I plopped another tablespoon on top of that. I let that fry for a bit, then taste-tested. AWESOME.

I poured about half the bowl of goop into the pan. I let it fry a while. It requires a LOT of patience because if you stir it, it just gloops some more, but if you don’t stir it, you don’t know what’s going on in there. As it became more and more golden, I poured the rest of the goop on top of it. I’m not sure why this happens, thermodynamically speaking, but something about pouring the cold goop on top of the hot goop seems to make it cook better. I went back and forth for a while between patiently watching and flip-glooping with my spatula. Finally I decided I had to just leave it alone and hope for the best for a while, so I went into the fridge and got a big fat scallion, washed it off, and chopped it up.

In the time it took me to do that, the thing frying in my pan had become AWESOME. It was golden all over with the bottom nicely browned (it will basically look burnt on the bottom).

I tossed in the scallion and let it sizzle just a little with the no-longer-quite-so-goopy cheese, stirring it up so the chewy-ish part on the bottom got mixed in.

Now I’m eating it. OH MAN! I feel like there are probably a zillion things I could do with this. Right now I’m just eating it plain, but…what would you do with it? I would love some suggestions!

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5 Responses to Vegan Fried Cheese

  1. Karhma Dent says:

    What is the texture of that? The ingredients list makes it sound not at all cheese-tasting, but your preparation makes it sound like a latke.

    • choirqueer says:

      It definitely tastes frighteningly cheeselike. I really don’t remember cheese well enough to compare, but maybe like goat cheese?

  2. Adrian says:

    this will be taste-tested in a kitchen (not that) near you. i would… put it in a sammich… eat with ketchup… possibly put with scrambled tofu, or on an english muffin for ex-benedict… mmm.. on top of mashed potatoes? i gotta taste it and think on this one.

  3. phoenix says:

    You did what…?! Awesome kitchen experimentation! o.O
    I’d probably just snarf it up with some hot sauce, but yeah, fried cheezy tofu scramble sounds good. Yummmm.

    On a side note, I just discovered that drag&drop works in this comment window thingy. Awesome.

  4. ria says:

    vegan poutine. cube your fried goodness, top some fries with it, and smother it with mushroom gravy. =)

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