[NaPoWriMo] say

Happy National Poetry Writing Month!
My goal is to write a poem for every day of the month! Some will be great, some will just be okay. Every day, a poem! If I miss some days, it’s okay, because I will write more poems!

say
some days
i think i know
what to say

and then i
wake up
scratching my head again.

when my dreams
come like barrels
in waterfalls
burning like thunderstorms
ascending the down escalator
again

i listen to the words i don’t say
trying to tune into my tender time signature
hold up a magnifying glass
to find clues
i use what i know
it’s the best i can
do

you said you’d wake me up before it’s over
and i question
whether that’s such a good idea
i need to rely on my sense of direction
there’s no GPS, not even a map in here

i’m just trying to find
my voice inside
it seems such a strange thing to have lost
but i write like i breathe
and i sing like i bleed
and i just can’t afford to turn it off

i need
something more reliable than batteries
i need
something more powerful than memories
i need
something more comforting than clarity
if i’m
going to keep moving along

i need
to put myself out there
out where? out there!
i need to hear my songs
outside my head
see my words get read
and some days
i think i know what to say!

and then i wake up
and it’s gone away

but maybe
i just need
to say it anyway.

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